Last week, I talked about setting and keeping boundaries, especially these days. But here's the thing, sometimes, not even boundaries help. Sometimes what you need is to chuck it all and take care of the most valuable resource you have: yourself.
What I'm doing these days ... I'm reading. I’m not reading heavy, literary, topic-based books. I’ve started and abandoned five different novels in the last few months. And I’ve resisted attempts at discussing what I’m reading. The novels that have kept my attention are ones that allowed me an hour or two of escape each day. I’m not looking for answers to profound questions or a grand “a-ha” moment. A fellow author suggested (with a not very subtle eye-roll) that I was being shallow, that as a writer I was supposed to be deeper than that. I won’t be swapping titles with that person again. As a writer, I know just how hard it is to spin a story that transports someone to a different place, a different time. Why then should I feel guilty for enjoying and escaping into a world that someone else has lovingly created? The fact that someones hard work can give me an hour of peace in a day where I feel like my head is spinning like a cheesy horror movie, is brilliant. I'd be delighted to hear from readers that my books did that for them. Maybe I’m not “learning” from an authors carefully honed craft. But I am honoring that carefully honed craft by letting her words transport me. I am escaping, I’m okay with that. And when I put the book down, I’m in a better place. I'm learning. In the last few months, I've devoured several MasterClass courses on writing (plus a couple on cooking and science because life isn't all about writing), and signed up for a few online workshops. I'm reading and re-reading books on writing and personal care. I've also been working on two projects that are outside of my regular genre and, for now at least, just for fun. What a fun exercise to stretch my creativity and re-discover the joy of writing for the sake of writing. I'm watching TV. I'm not usually a big TV watcher. Not because I have anything against it -- there are actually a lot of programs I really enjoy -- but because life gets too busy and by the evening, I'd rather sink into the tub with a book. But now that we're all home and the usual afternoon/evening mom-uber driving is down to a minimum, the evenings allow for more downtime. It's been fun binge watching new or new-to-us series with the entire family. And I've even watched and rewatched a few feel-good movies. I'm taking me time. One positive that's come out of the last few months is that I'm relearning the importance of taking time for myself, whether that's half an hour to sit outside and read or an hour to listen to an audio book and crochet, or 10 minutes to just sit and breathe and let my brain settle. Yes, there are a million things to do but there are a million reasons to slow down as well. I'm not worrying about writing. There are days I can whip through my word count like it’s a bag of gummy bears. Other days, I sit at my desk, open my manuscript then promptly close it. I know the “write every day” rule. I don’t. I can’t, especially not lately. But whether I’m consciously thinking about them or not, my characters are always with me. And I find that when I’m not forcing myself to think about them, they’re more forthcoming with their secrets. Most of the time I can lose myself in the writing. But sometimes the anxiety of everything happening around me crowds out the words. Those days, I give in. And I don’t feel guilty because I know the stories are safe. My one piece of advice to writers, especially as 2020 winds up: Do whatever you need to nurture yourself. And do it without guilt!
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