I have a confession ... I was silly excited to get my editorial letter last month. I decided to work with a developmental editor after hitting a pretty nasty crisis of confidence. The manuscript wasn't bad but it also wasn't as good as I knew it could be.  

So, yeah, I was expecting some substantial changes. And then came the email ... dum, dum, dum ... 

10 pages, single-spaced of editorial notes and embedded notes within the manuscript itself (multiple notes on pretty much every page). 

I read the letter, then read it again. And then I cried. She'd been able to get into my head and extract the story I'd wanted to write. 

I read the editorial again, this time with highlighters. I pulled out my W plot board and sticky notes (matching colors to the highlighters), and fresh storyboard pages and sat down to map out the edits. For those who've read any of my writing blog posts, you know I'm not a plotter when drafting. I am, however, a planner when it comes to revisions.  This is when my inner nerd comes out.

But the more I looked at the structure, the clearer it became that the book I wanted to write wasn't really the book I'd written. 

Instead of revising existing pages, I opened a new word document and started with Chapter One. There are passages that I'm cutting and pasting into the new document but most is new writing. I've never written so many words in such a short period of time and there are still plenty of times when I catch myself doubting the direction I'm going. But I can honestly say, I've also never been this excited about dumping more than 2/3 of a manuscript.

In a number of my writing groups, the conversation has come up about writing books set during 2020 and into 2021. How will we, as writers, handle the pandemic? I've so far, avoided having to address that, setting my work in progress in late 2021 when, fingers crossed, masks and social distancing and restrictions won't be a concern.

Like so many people, we've fallen into binging Netflix and Apple TV, instead of tuning into the programs we normally would have been watching. Last month, however, we started playing catch up with a couple of the programs. Some programs have moved on as though life hasn't changed. Those, interestingly enough, don't bother me. 

But there are a couple of programs that are dealing with the pandemic and those, I was surprised to discover, make me uncomfortable. 

We've kept a very low profile since the beginning of this. We have groceries delivered except for the occasional trip when I really need something and can't get a delivery slot; our only interaction with friends is outside, socially distanced, and even then limited to only a handful of people; my son is doing virtual school and my husband works from a home office in the basement; and the only other place we go, is the climbing gym where they're doing a good job of keeping numbers down with reservation blocks and reduced occupancy, and constant cleaning. 

I admit that I get twitchy when we are out and I see someone not wearing a mask or not wearing it properly, or if I'm in line at the store and someone gets too close. 

So, when a character takes their mask off in a public place or around other people or doesn't socially distance, I cringe and comment and my family threatens to ban me from watching that program.

What I've learned, is that I'm not nearly as okay as I like to pretend I am. It comes in waves and it hits at weird times and I'm often surprised at what triggers it. Maybe, at least for now, I need to stick with binge-watching pre-2020 programs.