Several years ago I started picking one word as my guide for the year. There were a few candidates for this year but one I kept coming back to: BELIEVE. 

The last couple of years were tough on so many levels and last year particularly kicked my behind both personally and professionally. My self-confidence took a beating. I've been working hard to pull myself out of that rut and BELIEVE is the word I keep coming back to. Believe in my creativity, believe in my ability, believe in myself.

As for the two crochet buddies, the goldfish is, of course, a nod to Ted Lasso because really, that show is brilliant and he's a perfect reminder to focus on the present. The purple dude? Because monsters aren't so scary when they're purple and smell of lavender. 

There's something amazing about starting a new year with a new writing project. I've spent the last few weeks mulling over story ideas and getting to know the characters better. Today was all about words. Fun words! 

This one feels different from my books and along with that, I've given myself permission to play with my process. That freedom is liberating and a wonderful, much needed reminder, that I started writing because I love telling stories.

A couple of years ago, a friend recommended this book and it's been on my shelf ever since. But it too the rather unbecoming meltdown earlier this week, to get me to start reading it. Monday's post should have been a dead giveaway, right? But it was Wednesday's decision paralysis that was the final push. 

Let's just say that the concept is not mind-blowing new. But that's the case with pretty much any self-help book. The point for reading any of these, though, is to find that one nugget of gold that reminds you of exactly what you need at the moment you most need it. 

From Goodreads:
The One Thing explains the success habit to overcome the six lies that block our success, beat the seven thieves that steal time, and leverage the laws of purpose, priority, and productivity.

Last week I mentioned jumping into a new  writing project while waiting for the next round of edits to come in. Yesterday, that email came in and with it, a panic attack. What direction do I go now?

Story 1 which I've been working on for several years, have a strong emotional connection with (it's loosely based on a family friend), and spent the past month thinking about little else while I was rewriting. 

Or Story 2 which is fun and different from anything else I've written and fits with the current market. It still lives in my brain where it's shiny and perfect and not tainted yet by my fumbling attempts at setting it to paper.

It shouldn't be a difficult decision. And yet ... I've spent the better part of the last two days paralyzed over what to do. 

Why? Because one is a shorter path to the desired result of having a manuscript to submit while the other allows more time to meander and avoid that next step in the journey. What if story 2 is more marketable than story 1? What if, after all that additional work, story 1 still isn't quite good enough? What if ... 

But at some point, a decision has to be made. Sure, you can abort mission, turn around and take an entirely different path. That new path will, inevitably, lead you to yet another fork.

Self-doubt is a heavy stone to carry on that journey. Failure, however, is a boulder that will crush you. For me, failure is leaving behind a trail of unfinished projects. For another writer, it could be something else entirely.

There are no guarantees what the view will be at the end of any of those paths. Publishing is certainly not the easiest road any of us could have chosen to take. But, as a friend reminded me, "you need to honor the investment." For me, that means following Story 1 to the end of its path and, even if the view at the end isn't what I'd hoped, at least I didn't leave an unfinished heap along the way.

Yesterday I had one of those "what the heck am I doing" moments ... you know that moment when you suddenly realize you have no idea what to tackle next because you're in the middle of too many things. And it's just too overwhelming to sort, so you do nothing or start something completely different because you can't decide. Yeah ... that!

Perfect example, crochet projects. This is just the immediate clump of projects -- there are three different creatures in progress in that pile. There's also a shawl and a blanket that are in bags tucked behind the couch. As well as a pretty impressive stash of yarn scraps that I'm turning into small blankets to take to an animal shelter. And I'd be remiss not to mention the bag of new yarn I bought to make the most adorable pair of socks that's on the floor next to the ottoman in the picture.

Then there's reading. I've started three tree books in the past couple of weeks (on top of the two I started several months ago and still haven't finished); I'm toggling between a couple of audio books because neither is grabbing my attention fully; and I've got two different e-books going (one for a contest and one because I was having a hard time getting into the contest book and oh look, I clicked on a different cover). 

And the decluttering effort which goes something like this: Start in one room, make a pile of things to get rid of, go to another room to get a bag for the things that need to be dumped from room one and get distracted with something in that room.

Oh, oh ... browser tabs!!!!! Holy cow, how many browser tabs can one person open!!! 

I've turned into a seriously over-caffeinated squirrel.  

I'm going to try an experiment for the rest of the week ... pick ONE thing to read/listen to, ONE crochet project and put all the others away where I won't see them and get distracted. Obviously I can't hide parts of the house (although wouldn't that be amazing!!) so I'm picking ONE task. And ONE hour to look through open browser tabs and close as many as I get through. Maybe by taking away the shiny distractions, my squirrel brain will be able to settle enough to finally finish ONE thing!

Stay tuned ... squirrel!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Where to find Sarahlyn ... 

sarahlynbruck.com

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I sent the revision back to the editor I'm working with yesterday (and totally failed to post a new blog as a result). Revision is stretching it a bit ... I basically rewrote the entire book - in 5 weeks! I've never written so much in such a short time. My brain is mush, my bum is numb, my eyes burn. And honestly, the only thing I wanted to do after hitting that send button was collapse on the couch and binge watch Firefly Lane. Okay, okay, and clean my house because it's been totally neglected for 5 weeks (well, that doesn't count as "wanted to do" but details!!). 

The editor, however, not only inspired a fresh direction for the manuscript, she also re-ignited my creative spark. 

I seriously had every intention of taking a week off to read, clean, catch up on work I've let slide. But there are a couple of stories that just won't leave me alone and this morning, I jumped into a new project. After a long writing slump where I doubted every word that came out of my fingers, it's a good feeling to want to write. And I'm crazy excited about this new project. It's been bubbling in my brain for a couple of years now. 

So yeah, logically, a rest makes sense. But I'm going to ride this wave while it's hot. I can hang on the beach and rest when the waves die down. :-) 

It's the last Monday of the month means sharing something that's making me particularly happy at the moment. I've been on a writing marathon this past month and every once in a while, I find myself craving something other than coffee (gasp, I know). 

I have a soft spot for tea and tend to buy more than I drink. But times like this, that buying problem comes in handy. And this particular tea has been making me very happy. Because, (a) look how pretty it is ... 

And (b) it's yummy. Plus the name ... Bee the Change ... how can I not buy into that?!

I'm not the only one who appreciates this tea!

Sometimes you pick up a book without really knowing much about it and it steals your heart. MEET ME AT THE MUSEUM was just that kind of book for me. I read it in a day which is unusual for me. I was absolutely charmed by this lovely story and characters.

From Goodreads:
When Tina Hopgood writes a letter of regret to a man she has never met, she doesn't expect a reply.

When Anders Larsen, a lonely museum curator, answers it, neither does he.

They're both searching for something - they just don't know it yet.

Anders has lost his wife, along with his hopes and dreams for the future. Tina is trapped in a marriage she doesn't remember choosing.

Slowly their correspondence blossoms as they bare their souls to each other with stories of joy, anguish and discovery. But then Tina's letters suddenly cease, and Anders is thrown into despair.

Can their unexpected friendship survive?

A deep and luminous novel of self-discovery and second chances, MEET ME AT THE MUSEUM is a heartbreaking celebration of love, life and the surprises it throws at us. In a story that is at once urgent and tender, Anne Youngson polishes the everyday until it gleams.

I have a love-hate relationship with word counts. If you've read any of my posts, you know I'm planner. I like my project plans and deadlines and those, obviously, include how many words I need to write on any given day in order to meet said deadlines. 

When I started this crazy month-long rewrite, I calculated that I'd need to write about 3,000 words a day. Now, for me, that's insane. I've attempted NaNoWriMo on numerous occasions but never completed it (although, truth be told, I've never been at the starting point of a manuscript when November rolled around; somehow I'm always revising). But this time, I didn't have a choice. So I took a dry erase calendar and marked down how many words I needed per day, giving myself a smaller count on days I knew I had less time, and more words on the days I didn't have to go anywhere. 

Every day, I write how many words I did that day as well as the total for the manuscript. Here's why ... 

Some days, the words flow and I crush my goal. But, predictably,  there are days when I feel like I'm deleting more than I'm writing. Seeing the low number under the goal frustrates me. On those days, especially, I focus on the total word count for the manuscript. Seeing how much I've actually managed to write in a short period is the boost I need to keep going. If I only focused on the less-than numbers, it would be too easy to see the failure.

So, yeah, I cringe when setting word count goals, but I also know it's a necessary part of the process for me.

First a quick bit of background. When I was four, we moved from Israel to England. When we moved back to Israel, three years later, we took a few items back with us, including books that I couldn't part with. But when we moved to the United States a couple of years later, there were things that didn't make sense to schlep (and pay for shipping). Makes sense, right?!

Fast forward many years (like thirty-some, cough, sputter), and I get an excited call from my cousin in Israel. She'd been in a used bookstore looking for English books for her daughter and guess what she discovered ... 

Seriously ... what are the odds! This book now has a special spot on the bookshelf in my office where I can see it every day. It reminds me that some books choose us.